home.

We left the hospital the moment they gave us the green light. Seriously. I made sure to already have everything packed up and we were out the doors the second I was unhooked from the happy maker machine (dispensed heavy pain meds and IV fluids), which I named Steve.

They say home is where your heart is, and being away from Huxley was like being lost in the wilderness. In a way I feel like I was---and I'm just now really processing what just happened to my body, our family, this whole stupid ordeal. It makes me feel sad, overwhelmed, angry, cheated and all I want is to wake up pain-free + able to care for both my babies the way a Mama should.

The healing will take time, I know, but I just really wanted a different start for our little tribe of four...but we'll work with what we have & hope my body patches itself up real good this time around.

Thanks for all your love + prayers--you mean the world to us.

xo

when will it end + begin?

[2 weeks old.]

This is how I feel right about now.

Matt, Ellis & I have been in the hospital since Saturday, and after several rounds of antibiotics + pain meds & an ultrasound they've decided to re-open me to get the abscess out.

Dear Lord, this has been quite the adventure. It's been over two-weeks since miss Ellis June has joined us, but we haven't really had a moment to settle in as a family. So overwhelmingly frustrating.

The entire month of July has been a blur, and I am pretty sure summer is over in MI..Crazy, huh? Not really, but it's cold--and I am screwed because I birthed another string bean baby that doesn't fit into 0-3's or any of the Target short + fatties yet and all I bought for newborn Ellis was tees and tanks and onesies when it's in the sixties here (or atleast that's what they tell us...we've been inside for days.) 

Prayers + good vibes would be much appreciated for tonight's operation. 

We miss you & hope there won't be too many crickets before I write again...

xo


UPDATE: Operation went well, thanks for all of the love and prayers and vibes of the good persuasion. They are palpable. Hoping to be home tomorrow with a homecare nurse. Fingers crossed.



 

our little lady.

 & I thought I took a lot of photos of Huxley...

my computer is about to crash with the obscene amounts of pictures that have been uploaded!

It's just so much fun dolling up our pretty miss Ellis + I want to capture every blink, yawn, sneeze, smile while simultaneously capturing all of Hux's antics (boy, does he have a lot these days).

Huxley is starting to show some obvious signs of jealousy and feeling left out. Huxley's once cute "Donald Duck" impressions have become horrible tantrums and spitting. His frustration is almost palpable and all I want to do is pick him up and snuggle him, but he's so rambunctious that it's just not safe---my cesearan recovery has been long, and emotionally and physically hard. This week thought I'd be on the up + up but knew something was wrong--turns out I have an infection, great, prayers this stupid antibiotic does it's job & does it fast. I'm so exhausted of this pain and immobility, and of not being able to fully be with my family. 

Ellis just perfect. Sleeps pretty much all night, nurses and naps all day. Morning time is her 'awake' time. I love these moments where she'll just stare at me and coo. It breaks my heart a million times. She gained 5 ounces at her 2 day check-up, and has been so good to Mama, letting her rest, and just being as easy as can be...so blessed. So very blessed.

Matt is above + beyond, and I am so amazed he hasn't left me with all of my requests and break-downs. 

[this has been a trial.]

He deserves a couple chocolate apology cakes, backrubs, and nights out with the guys for sure.

Thank you for all of your well wishes, thoughts + prayers, and congratulations. 

We love and cherish you all.

xo

my babies.

My heart is completely & entirely waterlogged with love.

xo

meet Baby Sister...

Life with the Hux just got a whole lot cuter (as if that was even possible!)...

We'd like to introduce you to Miss Ellis June.

 Mama's little Lulu, Daddy's sweet girl, and Huxley's Baby Sister.

She arrived Saturday night at 9:39pm at 7 pounds 14 ounces and a lengthy 22".

Ellis is perfection through & through.

 We're are all adjusting, and loving on this new soul that's joined our family. 

It's been a rougher recovery for myself since we ended up having a cesarean--which I still am processing & will someday share our birth story...until then...

Feels good to have her in our arms, really really good.

xo

final week?

[Huxley at the Splash Pad--of course the first thing he found was the giant pile of rocks.]

My child is a rock hound.

Which can be a dangerous thing at times, but it's mostly endearing & I now have a pretty extensive collection of random stones thanks to Hux. 

We're now at 39 weeks with Baby Sister.

I'm both super ready and extremely nervous for birth.

A couple OBs in the practice we are now at due to the move have been slightly less than positive about a natural birth--really pushing elective cesarean & putting doubts in our head. Discouraging to say the least, but when I look at Huxley I know I can rock this--and will.

Prayers + good vibes all welcomed for the safe arrival of little Miss Lulu.

Until then...

xo