holding your breath dizziness.

this is the awkward silence,
pregnant pause, 
waiting room nausea...

when you know what's coming,
& you asked for it. 

this is over your head
in the middle of the lake
not knowing how to swim.

self-inflicted heartache at it's finest.

this is reverse magnifying glass.
the big fucking picture.
grand finale of what never was going to be.

and there is no surprise,

but still you feel cheated.

you still argue it wasn't a fair shake.
you cling to the what if & or but....

aren't you dizzy
because Christ, kid, i am.


Barbiturates & Tinfoil Stars.

and for you I'd
suck out the sea

re-write the maps/
re-right the wrong roads
that took us too far too fast
blurring our past, and

running away from our Prince
just to kiss toads.

we were meant for more than that, you see...

like the battle between
reality vs. beauty.

indeed i'd,
remove every inch of rhyme from
million-miles-of-ribbon time

cut the Atlantic into threes
change perspectives & tides

all i am saying is
that this distance is trying.

but surely,
soon the coffee stains will
once again be left in
beds unmade.

let our unslept lighted heads
do all the talking instead.

with hair that stands for
so much more than
a freedom speech for an already won war,

& simply all it takes is two hearts
filled with gold dust covered birds and an ache for more


as slowly as honey
from a barbiturate bingeing bee-hive,

our words will combine
like pulling fishing-lined tied tinfoiled stars from the skies,

and as Truth destroys lies,

we will show them
what we mean when we say,

'but, we are Alive.'


to you & your world back home.

i'm slipping.

yea, i think this time
it's safer than ever to say
i've lost my grip,

and i am not going back
on that road...

it costs too much.
takes too long.
hurts real bad,

& just plain feels wrong.

so i pull a match out
from one book of the places
i knew in my past,

light & exhale the bitter swirls
that once intertwined the ideas
you and i had...

in a shitty bed
in an even shittier house

that i'd never consider home.

(i could never consider you home.)

(not if the world or my words depended on it.)