holding your breath dizziness.

this is the awkward silence,
pregnant pause, 
waiting room nausea...

when you know what's coming,
& you asked for it. 

this is over your head
in the middle of the lake
not knowing how to swim.

self-inflicted heartache at it's finest.

this is reverse magnifying glass.
the big fucking picture.
grand finale of what never was going to be.

and there is no surprise,

but still you feel cheated.

you still argue it wasn't a fair shake.
you cling to the what if & or but....

aren't you dizzy
because Christ, kid, i am.

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