a little Mama rant.

We were gifted a LOT of clothes including a Philadelphia Flyers onesie. Albeit super cute and a perfect fit Huxmonster during playoff season I just can't help but question how far I will wander away from how I originally wanted to raise him.

Who knows if Hux even likes the Flyers, or even hockey for that matter?

In three short months I've done quite a few things as a parent that I'd sworn never to do...
heck, even before Huxley was born I was eating my words.

From taking an epidural to supplementing with formula, we've had to make decisions that have left me feeling slightly less than, but we made them with confidence that Huxley's health and safety was priority.

Clothes are clothes, I know, and we are thankful we have plenty to doll him up in, but I never wanted my child to wear things with cheesy sayings & I'm still on the fence about sports teams (& since I'm from Michigan we'd have to double our gear!)

Becoming a Mama is humbling.

I never wanted to take an epidural, let alone have a hospital birth. When we first found out we were pregnant (almost a year ago!) I dreamed of having a water birth at home, having everything surrounding my child organic, eco-friendly, and sterile. Cloth diapering from day one. NEVER toting my child around in their car seat and ALWAYS baby-wearing. I swore up and down and sideways that my child would not know the taste of formula. Even things as minute as washing all of Huxley's clothes separately on delicate cycle have gone out the window.

Maybe I'm lazy, or not being as resourceful as I could be, but organic's expensive. The laundromat is too. And cloth diapering? SO EXPENSIVE. I am saving pennies in hopes to begin when Huxley is 6 months old, until then we are trying this thing called Elimination Communication, which basically means he goes with out a diaper and I try to watch for his cues. It does save us diapers, and I have gotten the hang of dealing with accidents which happen all the time.

Take all those things and throw in breastfeeding, which hasn't gotten easier for me, and I am as humble as pie.

But in the end, our success as parents is not measured in ideals, but in the way our child smiles, is healthy, has a dry diaper, a full belly, and a well rested soul.


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