caught you knockin' at my cellar door...

All this talk is making me restless, and my eyes have flying hearts in them & my lungs are doing the jitter-bug, ya know? I'm just bouncy, and ready for the next big thing. Ready to be surrounded by strangers, meet new streets, find different sounds, and tastes, and love love love.

I miss you.
A lot.

I hate that things have become so messy & so shitty for the both of us. It's been all tears & too many beers here. Wish I could report a little more sunshine, but the skies are gray, and my heart is cold.

And I believe that just one kiss from you could cure these blues.



xo,
Lil

goodbye, Rocky.

i'm not a fan of being lied to

no, not in the very least

but you've done it the most,

caused my heart to crash 

like whitecaps on the coast,

and i don't care what the excuse is

i know what your abusing, and this

is not acceptable,

so now you're just another fucking ghost.

another boy with a guitar,

i knew i shouldn't trust,

but hell, i blame it on blues

& bottles of lust.

don't think i don't wonder

or love, or miss,

it's just that i can taste the lies whenever we don't kiss.

Hotel California's Forecast.

the wind's so hard
it's like it has a message.

i prefer cliff-notes,
& abbreviations.

but this was something
hard to miss,

clearly no deviations.


i'm a mess.

i'm a monster,
guised as a goddess.

i can make a man bend at the knee,
& the biggest liar honest.


but whether or not
i'm merry or
in the key of C minor,

the Hotel California
could never be finer-


could never be better
even if at my worst,

or better yet,
actually getting rest,


but nonetheless
still remaining cursed.


so i stay & i write
stagnant in a black and blue town,

surrounded by white
wearing half a frown.

no, i'm not down,
i just mean to say...

it's better you cause the bruise,

call truce--



& leave it at bay.

Rocky Mtn. Packlist

• plane ticket
• drivers license 
• iPod & car charger
• ski bindings
• boots
• mittens
• straight brimmah
• goggles
• jacket & snow pants
• bikini
• 3 pairs of socks
• 2 pairs of jeans
• 3 shirts
• one hoodie
• yoga pants
• chacos
• one pair heels
• one pair of boots
• granola
• one apple
• large bottle of water
• cash
• sunglasses
• toothbrush
• face lotion with spf
• purse (aka survival bag)
• sleeping bag
• vitamins
• emergenC's
• Blackberry charger
• iBook
• fashion magazine
• digital camera
• AA batteries

a note found inside a hotel bible

the rain reminds me 

just what i am

& not

what i have and haven't got

who i was 

and where i've been

& neither it nor Christ himself

could wash away this sin.

i'm a bridge burner,

a real head turner

i can make you forget where you end 

& where i begin.

i'll talk real nice and slow

let you borrow my smokes

i could be your heroin.

There are things I should/nt do.

Should:

• Finish Novel
• Wake up every morning with a smile & thankful heart
• Let people know how amazing they truly are
• Eat my veggies, fruits & other good great healthy raw foods
• Stretch more
• Breathe deeper
• Talk less
• Listen more
• Take that trip to Iceland
• Dance any chance I get

Should not:

• Cuss like a sailor
• Drink my body weight in tequila
• Believe everything I hear
• Wear heart on sleeve
• Drain the pot of coffee before 10am
• Trust a boy with a guitar

to be continued...

Everyone knew her as Nancy.

Dear Sun,

Now you're just over-doing it. You had a great sunrise, & didn't need to go adding to it...really, is the Moon getting to you or what?

I attribute some of the wackiness going on to the holiday at hand. Last night especially, was way off kilter...c'mon, I flippin' power cleaned like nobody's business & as to the extent of it I'll spare you the details.

Onward and upward, just like you! I'm a little upset with you shaking me out of my dream. It was filled with my favorite people, one had an arm full of flower tattoos, which looked surprisingly fitting on her. There was also a boy with a guitar that came to steal my time and teach me how to play Rocky Raccoon on the guitar while playing it on the piano. To be honest I wasn't so good, but I knew all the words! But it was a silly Wonderland-like dream, and damn you from knocking it out of my mind...maybe I can pick up where I left off tonight.

At least the coffee's stronger than it's been in weeks.

Cheers,

Hb

Full Moon Melt Downs

Dear Moon,

It's about that time in the night where typing on my laptop sounds more like a jack-hammer, & I wax/wane over another glass of the hard stuff...it's the awkward hour. I'm awake. I know I shouldn't be, and then there's the in-between, or.. outside opinions should we say? 

Anyways. I partially blame you. You're a tempter. Your light's far too bright for me to sleep, so I digress in this ransacking of wine, pilfering of whiskey & inhalation of far too many cigarettes. 

In a perfect world I could water color this out, or use sign language...something far quieter than this method of communication. Instead I water down my wine, type as mouse-like as possible & pray I do not disturb anyone enjoying a normal night's rest.

I'm far from upset, granted you only do this once a month or so, but I've got a long holy weekend ahead & damn I'm not kicking it off to a good start. Furthermore, I've been dealing with some ghosts that seem to be in/out of my heart like boy with a guitar.

(In fact, that's just what they are.)

Wish I could shine as bright as you,

Hb

May I be your June?

Dear Lost Box,

Please show yourself.
I beg you.

I'm on my knees.
Pleading.

There are so many things within you that I miss, and have been day-dreaming about for the past week or so...You see, I've got this song stuck in my head and you contain the panacea for my restless searching.

I can't find the track on iTunes, CDBaby, nowhere...and it means a lot to me. The CD was sent to me from the artist herself, and she's just, breathtakingly phenomenal.
So if you could please come around, know that you'd be welcomed with open arms.

Love,
Hb

http://cdbaby.com/cd/maryalicewood03

Spring Oh-Nine Playlist

Dear April,

You fooled me! I was damn sure it was spring and then I woke up to snow covering every bit of pretty that was starting to show itself...I resigned myself to a pot of coffee & a bottle of Baileys.

Until you decide to stick around & shine a little light on this gray place I've made a collage of songs to help get me by...sun or no sun.

Xxoo,

Hb

1. Bruce Springsteen- Old Dan Tucker

There's something about banjos that always pulls a smile to my face...and who can resist Bruce? C'mon. 

2. The Beatles- Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Pretty much any playlist I create will inevitably feature The Beatles, and I am A-Okay with that.

3. Telepopmusik- Anyway

This song never fails me. It's Kentucky back-roads & fresh cut grass. Sticky humid make-up sex & speeding through the S-Curves in downtown Louisville.

4. Tom Petty- Roll Another Joint

I'm a sucker for harmonica intros & songs about rebelling/pot smoking/forthrightness. The line, "I'm too alone to be proud," is all too relatable, hell, the whole entire song is.

5. Uffie- Pop the Glock

Sexy tasty drama beats.

6. Vampire Weekend- The Kids Don't Stand A Chance

This band has the ability to resonate their predecessors and to me sounds like Sting, Rusted Root, Minus the Bear, & Tally Hall in a blender...

7. Vanessa Carlton- White Houses

Yeah, I always die to trust pretty eyed boys too, V.

8. Wilco- I Must Be High

I must.

9. NOFX-Stickin In My Eye

Okay, now this song is the epitome of highschool orchard parties. There was always NOFX, Captain Morgan's, Raspberry Stoli Vodka, and lots of pseudo-incestual hooking ups happening amongst the cherry trees.

10. Mano Chao- Bongo Bong

One of the songs he performs in English. I dig & understand.

11. Ladytron- Tomorrow

Turn up loud, add some sunshine, & an iced coffee...lower aviators. Smirk scenesterly.

12. The Killers- Move Away

Resume doing what you were through track eleven, but add some fist-in-the-air pumping. 

13. K'nann- Yesterday

My latest obsession. He's raw. Real. Cuts deep.

14. Journey- Any Way You Want It

"Dude...do you have any Journey?"...me to a friend while cruising through Colorado. Please, always have a few Journey tracks on your iPod incase I ride with you... thanks. 

15. Johnny Cash- God's Gonna Cut You Down

One of his darkest tracks in my humble opinion...I like dark.

16. Old Crow Medicine Show- Wagon Wheel

This song will always remind me of a summer long bender in Nashville...late night jam sessions, complete with harmonica, banjo & a group of severely talented people.

17. Ingrid Michaelson- You and I

Okay...the break-down in this song makes even the grayest of days feel sunny.

18. Headphones- Natural Disaster

Alot of those happen this time of year...thought it appropriate.

19. A Tribe Called Quest- Oh My God

Tribe is perfect for feelin' optimistic, and damn, in Michigan you need a lot of that in April.

20. Jimmy Eat World- Clarity

No playlist is complete without a JEW track. 

21. Ben Kweller- Gotta Move

Mm-hm, Ben, sing it & sing it loud. This is for all those county kids that would rather be somewhere else...somewhere preferably sunnier & less bi-polar when it comes to weather.

22. The Weepies- Gotta Have You

Coffee, crying, whiskey, wine got me through the winter...now give me some spring, and give me some love. Please.