Yesterday I was lucky enough to have my dearest friend and her sweet family over for a visit (and help wrangling Hux before Matt flew back into MI from his Grandmom's funeral out in PA) and we were talking about crunchy hippie Mama things like baby-wearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, placenta encapsulating, organic clothes + gardening---you know, granola nut stuff. We dig it. But, anyways, she had made a statement that it has become trendy to be into said earth muffin things. I guess I never really realized it or gave it much thought since our family's lifestyle has kind of grown into what it is now, which began in college for me & really ramped up after becoming pregnant with Huxley. I turned into a super chemical-sensitive, label-reading, organic/Non-GMO only food + clothing freak. Kind of over-board I'll admit.
& it irked me to think about healthy living being trendy, because where is the heart in that? We chose to raise our kids in a healthy environment because it is the right thing to do not because it'll gain us a friend in the co-op check out line. But then I'd just be as judgey as the next person. I don't want to be judgey. Drink your grande non-fat no foam latte, Mama. I am not throwing stones.
Having kids has totally humbled my once wannabe dirty hippie self. I want to put out there into the universe that both my babes were augmented hospital births, Ellis was an emergency cesarean, & I have had to give my children formula.
I cringe at all of those things. I've mourned over all of those things. I've beaten myself up and down and sideways over all of those things because that wasn't what I wanted for my babies. I wanted pure, natural, untainted beautiful beginnings for them and they got dealt a whole different road.
But you know what?
Huxley is gorgeous. He is kind, and funny, and healthy.
Ellis is beautiful. She is a zen, un-needy little being that is gaining weight and growing perfectly with just the tiniest help from formula.
And I am not going to apologize or turn in my Mama card or feel less than...annnd I will proudly breastfeed in public with my designer diaper bag, sipping kombucha and eating kale chips because I actually like the taste of them not because they are the cool thing to be eating but simply because I can, ...and will dammit.