the days drag like a last cigarette

i only save a few words
kept safe in place i let no one,
but you.

they're pure,
and they are sacred
every single one of them true.

unlike so many things
i let slip through my soul
like a sieve,

i have become a clouded muddied version
of what you remember of me
my heart a flooded river
with nothing left to give.

it's been years
too many emptied beers
& cheap back alley souvenirs.

and i've tried to call
to tell you that i am sorry,

& i'm okay,
and alone.

but you don't recognize my voice
& hang up the phone.

so i swallow another sunset
& chase it with tears
falling from blue eyes gone gray
shattered like a thousand mirrors.

this is 3am promises
and last cigarettes,

this is life when you forget you're way home,
because it's hidden in your chest.

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