the days drag like a last cigarette

i only save a few words

kept safe in place i let no one,

but you.

they're pure,

and they are sacred

every single one of them true.

unlike so many things

i let slip through my soul

like a sieve,

i have become a clouded muddied version

of what you remember of me

my heart a flooded river

with nothing left to give.

it's been years

too many emptied beers

& cheap back alley souvenirs.

and i've tried to call

to tell you that i am sorry,

& i'm okay,

and alone.

but you don't recognize my voice

& hang up the phone.

so i swallow another sunset

& chase it with tears

falling from blue eyes gone gray

shattered like a thousand mirrors.

this is 3am promises

and last cigarettes,

this is life when you forget you're way home,

because it's hidden in your chest.