Today marks the end of National Breastfeeding Week & although we didn't officially participate in any of the events that were going on we were cheering for all of you ladies & babes and in honor of this week I've decided to finally write about our experience with breastfeeding.
There was never any question as to whether or not I'd be breastfeeding Huxley.
To me, it was a beautiful gift that God gave women, and I had been blessed with that ability.
When Hux was born he was big.
So big that they had to keep checking his blood-sugar levels, & monitoring him every hour.
I didn't have the birthing experience I'd wanted so badly--to have him placed on my naked chest directly after he was born, still slimy, cord attached & letting him find his way to breakfast.
No, unfortunately he was only on my hospital gowned tummy briefly before they hurried Matt to cut the cord & then whisked him away to check him over. I kept pleading the nurses to give me my baby. They ignored me as he laid in the warming station all alone, but surprisingly happy.
It felt like hours before I was actually able to attempt the first feeding. It was just the three of us in our quiet hospital room, and despite my having an epidural, Hux latched perfectly, the way God intended & he was nourished.
Best feeling in the whole crazy big but small at the same time world.
He nursed great the entire time in the hospital, and when we got home nothing really changed. My milk came in on time & I thought we were golden. At our first check-up though, our Pediatrician (at the time) told us otherwise & pressured us to supplement with formula.
I declined & said we'd work harder at it, etc etc anything to keep him away from "Devil Milk" as I called it.
We had to keep bringing Huxley back in for weight-checks. He wasn't gaining. He was down from 9lbs 8oz to 8lbs 14oz & the Doctor insisted we use formula.
I was destroyed, but we chosee to do what was best for Huxley & that is all a parent can do. Shortly after supplementing with formula (still beating myself up over supply, pumping constantly, drinking Mother's Milk tea, taking Fenugreek, Brewer's Yeast, Blessed Thistle, eating oatmeal like crazy, drinking half of a dark beer every night, everything under the sun to increase what I thought was a low supply) Hux broke out with terrible looking eczema. The Pediatrician blamed it on the winter elements & made light of it saying it was completely 'normal'.
I knew Huxley was having a reaction to the formula & felt even worse about our situation. We tried making him a Goat's Milk Formula, which lessened it, but I was still determined to have him back on boob 100%.
In short, we left that Pediatrician, I cut Hux completely off 'Devil Milk' & within a DAY his skin was cleared up.
Take THAT modern medicine.
Turns out I had oversupply.
We just were reading all the signs wrong. It took a good 4 months (and me cutting dairy from my diet) to really work out all of the kinks, the pains of nursing (yes, ladies, it hurts, and I still get sore if Hux is latched all night, but that's a whole different story called being a "Glorified Pacifier").
Today we are 99% Milk Trucks & the other percent Hux get's a hypoallergenic, Dairy-Protein free formula we call "Kitty Milk" because it smells like cat food.
(he only gets this when I go to work)
Hux may not be a rolly-polly chunker baby but he is a HULK.
Now that he's on solids I do not stress anymore about him getting enough foods & nourishment. Nursing is now one of my favorite times with him. I nurse him in public, on airplanes, at restaurants, at the DMV while being waited on, anywhere. Most of the time people don't even notice. I've had family members try to take him from me in which I politely explain "he's currently attached".
To all the Mama's out there struggling with boobie-feeding, know it will get better! I share your frustration & pain and send you nothing but good things.
To all the Mama's that couldn't or chose not to breast-feed, you are still wonderful beautiful Mothers and don't let anything or anyone make you feel less than.
To all the Mama's who have felt awkward pulling a boob out in public. Don't think twice about it. Your gorgeous. It's natural & just focus on your baby and let everything else slide away.
Breastfeeding is just one of the many silent communications of love we have for our child.
So speak freely & know you have worlds of support behind you.
x0
